Repeated Requests for Early Pick-ups

Your student goes to school to learn. The main reasons that a school can remove a student from school are (1) if they have broken a school rule or (2) if there is a serious health or safety concern. See N.C.G.S. § 115C-390.2. In both cases, they should clearly notify you about what is going on and follow appropriate procedures.

It might feel scary to refuse to pick up your student when the school is calling you. At the end of the day, you should follow your best judgment to make sure you feel comfortable that your student is safe. But if your school is repeatedly calling you to pick up your student, but is not “officially” removing them, they are not following through on their responsibility to educate your student.

1. Get more information. When the school calls you to pick up your student, you can ask for more information to understand whether you are required to pick them up. You can ask questions like: “Is my child being suspended or facing discipline? Are they physically hurt or in danger?” If your child is facing disciplinary action, like a suspension, ask for documentation and the other services you are owed. If you’re unsure what documents and services to ask for, visit our page on school discipline.
2. Respond in a positive manner. While it may feel scary to refuse to pick up your student, remember that the school’s job is to support them. Here are some ways that you can respond:
   • I understand that CHILD is having a hard day. Can we schedule a meeting to discuss how to better support them?
   • Can I speak with CHILD?
   • If you are having a hard time with CHILD, you can try ____. This works for us at home.
3.  Prevent future pick-ups. If you are being asked to pick up your child because of “behaviors” or you are being told they are disruptive to the school environment, ask for individualized supports to prevent future issues. 
   • If your student has an IEP or 504 Plan, request a Team meeting to discuss your concerns and request, if needed, a functional behavioral assessment (FBA) and behavior intervention plan (BIP) to make sure the school provides accommodations or other supports that can address your student’s behavior in a supportive way. Click here for an example email to request an FBA and BIP.
   • If your student with a disability doesn’t get special education services at school but might need them, consider writing to the principal to ask for your student to be evaluated.  For more information about the special education eligibility process, including whether your child might be eligible for a 504 Plan or an Individualized Education Program (IEP) to help them manage their disability at school, visit the special education section of our website.
   • If your student doesn’t have a disability, but needs help to support their behaviors in school, request that an MTSS team meet to discuss putting in place behavior supports.  For more information on how MTSS can support your child, including sample emails, you can read the MTSS section of our website.
   • If your student’s behaviors at school are related to unaddressed bullying, write to your principal to describe the bullying, the harm to your student, and any steps you believe the school should take to protect your student.  For more information about protections for students facing bullying, including sample emails, visit the Bullying and Discrimination section of our website.
4. Build your team.  Advocating for your student can feel isolating and exhausting at times. You can build your team by inviting friends, family members, trusted individuals from your student’s school, and/or trusted community partners to join you in school-based meetings. In some situations, you may be able to access trained parent advocates who can support you free of charge. Check out our Parent Support Map to identify local advocates who might be able to help. We recommend letting the school know ahead of time if you will be bringing someone with you.    
5. Learn more.  Review our guides to School Discipline, Special Education, and Behavior Interventions for All Students for more information about how your school can work with you to support your student. You can also read through the Advocacy Resources on our website under “I Need Help With.”
6. If these steps don’t resolve your problem, contact LANC for help.  Call the LANC Helpline if you try these steps and you are still repeatedly picking up your child from school such that it is severely impacting their access to school. If possible, keep records of conversations with school officials so that advocates can better understand what steps you have already taken.